I’ve believe — and have experienced — that once karma has been created, you cannot undo it. It has to come to fruition.

My New Year’s Day aspiration is to relate in a deeper way to my own karma so as to

1.  mitigate the painful affects of the karma that has come to fruition in this lifetime; and
2. create as little karma as possible for the future.

In this post, I will deal with number one.

I was making  my bed this past Thursday, getting ready to go to the shambhala buddhist centre for morning meditation practice.

(Pull the bedspread off the bed.)

I was thinking about how my eighty-eight year-old mother has never been able to dispense with her habitual patterns of thought towards me — no matter what I do for her, she’ll always see me as horrible.

(Pull back the covers.)

I then realized that I too had habitual patterns of thought, namely, that I’ll always see her as horrible.

(Pull the top sheet off the bed.)

Well, I thought, if my mother can’t get outside her cocoon of habitual patterns and reactions, then it’s up to me to get out of mine, not only for my own sake — but maybe this would also help her.

(Remove the pillows.)

“Our past lifes <sic> karma might be determined but in this life we should always try to remedy it, make efforts to make it workable.” (source: H. E. Terton Namkha Drimed Rabjam Rinpoche – e-mail Jan 2011;  http://www.ripaladrang.org/teachers.htm)

 But how?

(Smooth out the bottom sheet.)

We do this via the most basic meditation practicetechnique known as “labelling and following.” We begin to see how caught up we are in our discursive thought and the  habitual patterns created by them.

And then, when we’re somewhat familiar with this practice, we can move to Level 2 technique and begin to explore the cocoon we live in and see how this coccon was formed and how it is maintained. We start to gain some insight.

But I’ve never heard anyone explain what is it about this meditation technique that helps us to explore our cocoon. In other words, what are the logistics? Why is it that following the technique helps us to see how habitual patterns are formed?

(Pull up the top sheet.)

From my own experience over more than 30 years, I think it’s this:

• Habitual patterns are comprised of both thoughts and emotions, which in turn create a set of habitual responses to our world. It is these responses\volitional actions that create our karma.

(Pull up the covers.)

• By following the meditation technique of being mindful of when a thought or emotion is arising in our mind, we start to see how these  thoughts and emotions  form a pattern. The pattern becomes “habitual” when we grasp and fixate on it.
  

• It’s ego’s identification with and belief in these patterns that deepens the “rut” we are in. Another way to say this is that continually thinking the same thoughts, and feeling the same emotions associated with those thoughts, deepens the “rut.”  It’s  like  our car being stuck in deep, wet mud, and we move the car back and forth continually in an attempt to free the car. But often, we just succeed in deepening the rut.
  

• We have to somehow unwind the cluster. Meditation “unweaves” or pulls apart the strands that make up the clusters, which in effect breaks down  the pattern itself. When the pattern comes apart, the habitual response loses its power.

In short, when practicing meditation, we practice being immediate; being in the NOW, not in the future or the past. Meditation practice can cut through anger, fear. How? Being in the NOW cuts through fixation on\grasping at\attachment to these thoughts.

(I do not finish making my bed. I rush to my computer to write this…… before I get immersed in my cocoon and forget what I have just worked out.)

Happy Western New Year!

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This post follows the one of December 11, 2011 immediately below.

In the Shambhala teachings, what are called the Four Dignities describe four stages in a process of realizing our basic goodness.

We want to live good lives. That involves making the right decisions. We ask ourselves:

“What is it that I want to do? What would be the right decision? I have the opportunity right now, what am I going to do? If I make certain decisions, I will get certain outcomes. That is the law of karma.”

Karma is the basic flow of nature, so — not to be too heavy — I think we need to really consider our actions, because we get into a lot of entanglement when we do not have this ability to be discerning, knowing what to do. We bumble into things and hope they work out. Dharma and the Shambhala teachings are saying that the first quality is Tiger — that quality of mindfulness, is meekness, not being overly arrogant.  (Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche: The Four Sessions of Basic Goodness)

So we practice discernment.

Then what?

What unfolds from here naturally is the next session of basic goodness, which is the Lion. This has the quality of finally coming to a decision. We know what we want to do. We want to do the virtuous thing. We realize that the way to make a decision is to consider, “How is it beneficial for others? If I am going to say something, is it going to help them? Or am I just going to say something snide, or something aggressive? And what kind of good is that going to do?” If we decide that we are going to say something aggressive or that we are going to gossip, the reality is that the gossip and aggression is just going to come back at us; people are going to be talking about us in that particular way. It is just a cycle; this is the moment where we decide what to do.  (Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche: The Four Sessions of Basic Goodness)

It’s good to remember that, in coming to a decision,  we are actually choosing our future karma.

When I was writing speeches for senior political figures, I would talk about the ripple effect in the tourism industry. If tourists come to your city, they need accomodation. Then they might go to the restaurants. Or the theatre. Or rent a car. In other words, that one act of a tourist who visits your city creates a ripple effect which boosts the income of the surrounding establishments.

In the same way, when I make a decision, it affects not only myself. It affects others! In other words, there’s a ripple effect, as Pema Chodron put it.

So it is very important that we make decisions based on seeing situations clearly, on seeing the truth of the situation, not based on what’s just best for our own comfort, or wanting to stay curled up in what Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche described as our own cocoons. This is the opposite of bravery. It is cowardly.

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Every day I get an e-mail called Rigpa Glimpse of the Day. Up until now it has  been a kind of sleepy Sunday. But today’s message woke me up because of my lifelong interest in the outer, inner and secret aspects of karma.

We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice. And if we choose to do so, we can put an end to suffering and the causes of suffering, and help our true potential, our buddha nature, to awaken in us. Until this buddha nature is completely awakened and we are freed from our ignorance and merge with the deathless, enlightened mind, there can be no end to the round of life and death. So, the teachings tell us, if we do not assume the fullest possible responsibility for ourselves now in this life, our suffering will go on not only for a few lives but for thousands of lives.

It is this sobering knowledge that makes Buddhists consider that future lives are more important even than this one, because there are many more that await us in the future. This long-term vision governs how they live. They know if we were to sacrifice the whole of eternity for this life, it would be like spending our entire life savings on one drink, madly ignoring the consequences.

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This weblog is dedicated to the subject of karma and its many facets and factors. Today is “Milarepa Day” in the Buddhist calendar. Milarepa, a murderer and saint is, for me, the best object lesson for karma!

When we hear the name Tibet, many people think of His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama. Gentle. Compassionate. Humourous. Loving. Wise.

Milarepa, one of the greatest figures of Tibetan Buddhism, couldn’t present a better contrast to the perception we have of the Dalai Lama.

Mila was one bad dude. Got into black magic in a big way. Murdered his enemies to avenge some wrong-doing done to his family after his father had died.

But he is favourite of mine. Why? It’s really quite simple. He was a very naughty boy who went from sinner to saint. From a murderer to a magician and mystic. And did it all in one lifetime.

Milarepa’s message to me is: “I transformed a great deal of negative karma into enlightenment. So can you.” Well, it’s taking me many many lifetimes. But Mila is my inspiration.

Let’s start at the beginning of his story.

Once upon a time a baby son destined to be the most famous Tibetan poet was born in 1040 to wealthy parents who called him “Good News.” But in this story, there’s a lot of bad news too.

As the expression goes, what do you want to hear first: the good news or the bad news about Milarepa? In this case, we’ll have to start with the bad news because out of the bad news came the good news.

When Mila was still young, his father died. Unfortunately, his father did not draw up a very wise will, and his wealth, in the form of a beautiful house and much land, were put in the care of Mila’s aunt and uncle to be held until Mila got married.

The aunt and uncle were unkind people. They were greedy and thought only of themselves. Mila and his mother and sister were treated like slaves in their own home! They wore rags for clothes and did not eat well, while the aunt and uncle took everything good for themselves.

Aunt, you are a demoness.
You are a deadly demoness who almost killed me.
(source: The Rain of Wisdom – “The Songs of Jetsun Milarepa”)

Soon, Mila, his mother and sister — deprived of their land and house and all their goods, and given poor food to eat and rags to wear —became unhealthy. Everybody in their village felt sorry for them but there was nothing anyone felt they could do.

We usually think of turning 16 as a big deal.His mother couldn’t wait until he turned 16 to put her hidden agenda into action. So when he turned 15, she held a party for him. Her brother helped by giving Mila’s mother some food so that she would have something to serve to her guests. The aunt and uncle were invited.

After everyone had eaten, Mila’s mother made her grand announcement: “It is time now to have our possesions returned to us.” The aunt and uncle refused, saying that the will Mila’s father had left gave the family possessions to the aunt and uncle outright.

There weren’t any lawyers to go to in 11th century Tibet.

So Mila’s mother urged her adolescent son to seek out a Sorcerer-lama to learn black magic so he could destroy the family’s enemies.

He did. In fact, Mila was a such a good pupil that he got an A+ on his report card. When he returned to his village, he didn’t actually show his report card to his mother. He went one better. He demonstrated his A+ skills:

• First, he killed 35 people at a wedding party by causing the horses to become extremely agitated; in their agitation, the horses kicked the main column that supported the house, and it fell on 35 of the 37 wedding guests; and then
• He caused three powerful hail storms to appear; they destroyed the entire barley crop of that year.

After wreaking this havoc, he returned to his Sorcerer-lama for what we today would call graduate classes.

Now for the good news. At some point, Mila realized that his actions had accumulated a great deal of negative karma and wished now to get spiritual instruction. He met his teacher, Marpa the Translator, and asked Marpa to give him spiritual instructions.

Through a break in my evil karma, I discovered good karma
I met the father jetsun [revered teacher], the excellent true buddha [awakened one]
………..
The skin of ignorant ego-fixation fell away from me,
And the great knot tied by passion and aggression [the poisons] was loosened.
(source: The Rain of Wisdom; “The Songs of Khakhyap Dorje”)

The great spiritual teacher Marpa realized that Mila had a great deal of evil karma to be worked through . So he “sentenced” Mila to a long period of hard labour: Marpa set him the task of building a stone structure… only to have Mila destroy it as soon as he built it. This occured eight times.

Only then was Mila purified enough to hear the spiritual instructions.

Alot of us feel we’ve been living a life of (psychological) hard labour in some ways.

What a great basis for waking up from the illusions that ego creates.

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We do not have to believe in reincarnation to benefit from this post or weblog. We only have to agree that present volitional actions have consequences in the future. 

Prologue: Based on my weblog page called Actual face of karma,what would the life of someone who is the present (fictional) incarnation of Queen Tiye (mother of Akhenaten), Queen of Sparta (aka Helen of Troy), Queen Jezebel, Cleopatra, St. Teresa of Avila and Sigmund Freud actually look like? In other words, what is the fruition of the karma (past volitional actions) of this portrait gallery of six historical figures when certain causes and conditions meet and the seeds of their past virtuous and non virtuous action  ripen in the present? To try to answer this question, I use diary entries like the one below.

* * * * *

I, Rainbow Desert Flower, enter these accounts of the last 40 years into my private diary. May it benefit all those who are trying to understand their own karmic package.

While it’s extremely helpful— indeed, necessary — to deconstruct the laws of karma, I started this weblog to demonstrate through real-life examples how karma actually works — manifests — in our present lives.

Here are some examples of the negative karma I had accumulated over many lifetimes through the ten unvirtuous actions that manifested in this present lifetime.

I went from

• being the extremely powerful mother of Akenaten, who plotted the death of of her grandchild Tutankamun in a past lifetime, to experiencing extremely negative karma with child for 22 years in this lifetime;
• taking away other women’s men for ego reasons in past lifetimes to no successful relationships for 22 years in this lifetime;
• being the richest woman in the world who abused her power in a past lifetime to financial poverty for 22 years in this lifetime;
• hatred towards my sister who had illegally seized the crown from our father in a past lifetime to severely unhappy relations with mother in this lifetime; and
  
• lying about one of my major theories in my last lifetime, to being slandered and deceived for 22 years in this lifetime.

In short, I went from abusing the power I had by virtue of the extremely high positions I held in previous lifetimes to being powerless for 22 years in this lifetime.

In that sense it has been the worst of lives.

Simultaneously, while the karmic s— — t was hitting the fan in this lifetime, I met enlightened, awake spiritual guides.

Learning about, inter alia [among other things]

• the  laws of karma — and how to cut through the habitual patterns that create and maintain that karma;
• how to tame my mind and cut through the confusion produced by ego through meditation; and
• the true nature of reality;

In that sense it has been the best of lives.

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Confined in the dark, narrow cage of our own making that we take for the whole universe, very few of us can even begin to imagine another dimension of mind. Patrul Rinpoche tells the story of an old frog who had lived all his life in a dank well. One day a frog from the sea paid him a visit.

“Where do you come from?” asked the frog in the well.
“From the great ocean,” he replied.
“How big is your ocean?”
“It’s gigantic.”
“You mean about a quarter of the size of my well here?”
“Bigger.”
“Bigger? You mean half as big?”
“No, even bigger.”
“Is it . . . as big as this well?”
“There’s no comparison.”
“That’s impossible! I’ve got to see this for myself.”

They set off together. When the frog from the well saw the ocean, it was such a shock that his head just exploded into pieces.

Why did the old frog’s head explode?

What I usually call “my self” is actually a collection of five components\building blocks. To take just one component, the fifth, it is comprised of the five senses, mental consciousness, habitual tendencies, and the seeds of our future karma.

These building blocks of ego are called the five heaps, or skandhas. They describe how ego develops and operates and create the illusion of a solid reality.

The old frog was in the habit of thinking that his home (the well) was actually the entire world.

We don’t live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality. <source: Bryan Singer, American film director and producer>

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. <source: Albert Einstein>

When the frog from the sea got the old frog to leave his “world” — the dank well — the latter’s head exploded.

How does this play out in daily life?

One simple example is found in the phrase “exploding in anger.” If my view of how things are and how things should be is challenged, I might explode in anger. It can be upsetting to discover that what we thought was reality isn’t so “real” and solid after all.

Of course, there are many more ways in which we resist what we perceive to be a threat to our own views. We might fold our arms across our chest, shrug, argue for our point of view, become insistent even in the face of proof to the contrary, become silent.

Understanding the components of ego also helps us to understand how we accumulate karma (the second skandha).

The antidote?

…loosening our solid idea of who we are, loosening our solid fixation on our body, on our perceptions, and on our roles iin life, all of which we regard as so important. <source: Eric Holm>

How do we loosen? what could be called the gradual path is consists of the practice of meditation.

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Many of us have found the concept of “emptiness” difficult to understand, to “get a handle on,” to “come to grips with.” Not surprising, as even the concept of emptiness is empty!

Why would I want to write about it? Because it describes the true nature of our minds, of reality, of the universe. Put another way, what we think exists is just an appearance.

It’s like a firecracker. It flashes (appears) in the sky, stays for a second, and then passes away. It has no inherent existence apart from the causes and conditions that produced it. You may have heard the phrase “the world of appearances.” That is what I am referring to here.  So everything that arises in our lives is actually an “appearance,” not some solid,  permanent reality.

I have come to believe that without an understanding of this true nature, we cannot really live the best of lives. Why? Because we are fooled, deluded, duped. That’s what is meant by the phrase “we are fooled by our own projections.”  The problem isn’t so much that we project, but that we don’t acknowledge it. Personally, I do not want to live in this state.

We experience this “emptiness” everyday: things change all the time, manufactured items like cars, a supper plate, etc. etc. fall apart. But while we understand the concept intellectually, it is emotionally difficult to accept. Why? Because our ego resists this truth.

So what? Who cares?

What possible usefulness is it to understand ideas like emptiness, appearances, the 12 factors of dependent origination, cause and effect.(1) Whenever I’m about to get caught up, hooked, in something that is happening in my life (relative, conventional plane), I try to flash on the ultimate nature of things. To flash is like waking up from a dream. I realize that what I was about to get all caught up in is “just a dream.” In the same way,  I try to remember

The result? I feel a lot less anxious. I can say to myself “Of course things happened this way — it arose out of all the preceding factors!” this lead to this lead to this lead to this…..

Certainly, we are concerned about things. But I find that fear, anxiety and worry, depression lessen. But I don’t try to repress them either. I just try to practice touching them and letting them go.

(2) Because things depend on other factors [the 12 factors of dependent origination]  in order to appear, they cannot have a solid existence. If they don’t have a solid existence, then maybe there’s “nothing” to get attached to, to cling to, to make a big deal about. And if there’s nothing to get attached to, I have the opportunity to cut any karma that may be about to accumulate.

Thoughts, feelings and sensations aren’t things-in-themselves, but occur through a variety of causes and conditions. (Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche)

Here’s a quotation that I think summarizes the theme of this post:

Since all phenomena, outer and inner, are dependently existent mere appearances,
They have no inherent nature, they are just appearance-emptiness {like the firecracker example I used above}.
If you know how they resemble dreams and illusions,
All comings are goings will be open and relaxed.
(source: song by Khenpo Tsultrim entitled Living an Appearance-Emptiness Life, composed June 24, 1998)

And while everything that arises in our lives is dependent on causes and conditions, the next time you hear someone say “Something can’t come out of nothing, you know,” you can say “Yes it does!”

Just one of the many paradoxes of our universe…….

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I replied:

I don’t know where this comes from.

But I began to contemplate its meaning.

This is the best I can come up with:

Nature’s actions — wind, rain, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, sunshine etc. etc. etc. — while the result of cause and effect, aren’t “volitional” (not by choice). They are not underpinned by the kleshas (poisons).

In other words, Nature’s very power lies in the fact that it is free of
volition and the kleshas that underlie volitional action.

My previous post detailed the incident of my hanging up on my 88-year-old mother .

Having now created negative\”bad” karma for myself by my desire to ignore and avoid, where do I go from here?

Or as Shari, who left me a comment on that webpost, said “…. I guess now the question is.. how are you going to reconcile??”

Indeed.

I have spent the 10 days following the incident sending e-mails back and forth with one of my sisters.

That was all about helping mum re-focus to ease any suffering she might be experiencing.

But how about me? Here’s something to start with:

“If you want to solve a problem, no matter what kind of problem, work on yourself.” <Hawaian Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len>

And:

Specifically wishing happiness for people you don’t like [people who are difficult, who upset you etc. etc.] can make them easier to deal with. Keep a list of people you are angry with. As you work your way through the list, you will find it becoming easier to forgive. (source: Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, Contemplation for December 7th, 2007)

That’s as good a place to start as any! And I do it everytime the incident arises in my mind. “I wish you happpiness and all causes of happiness. I wish you happiness and all causes of happiness. I wish you happiness and all causes of happiness…….”

Update: December 08, 2010: if you feel courageous, please click here and scroll down the page until you see

Sat Jul 22, 2006

HO’OPONOPONO
By Joe Vitale

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When I was about four years of age, my mother would put me in my bedroom by myself when she could not control my energy. I was, apparently, like a “bee in a bonnet.”

Funny thing, I’m still getting put in my room – with a couple of differences: I  am now an adult and presumably have control over my actions. And I’m the one placing myself in that room by myself — an unintended, but very real, consequence of one volitional action.

It’s November 22’10. That date in itself should have been an early warning system to me: JFK was assassinated on that day in 1963. And my ex-husband died on that day in 2004 from cancer of the oesophagus at age 61.

On this particular November 22nd in 2010, I take my 88 year-old mother to see a gerontologist at the “Elder Clinic” at one of the hospitals in our city. She is not happy about being at the clinic. She becomes irritated, then angry, finally physically pushing me away, and continuously repeating “I don’t know why I’m here” — even though she had agreed last June to follow her best friend’s advice to get a second opinion. (Previous tests have found nothing seriously wrong. And yet, my mother doesn’t look well.)

Finally, the appointment is over, but not before my mother refuses to agree to sign a Power of Attorney for Personal Care so that, in the event of mental incapacity, I, in conjunction with my sisters who live in other cities, can make decisions for her well-being.

We are back down on the first floor and need to find a cab. I take my mother’s arm to help her walk outside. Once again, she pushes me away.

As soon as we arrive back at my mother’s apartment, I jump out of the cab as quickly as I can without saying anything, get into my car, and drive to my own home.

About four hours later, she telephones to ask where I’d gone. “You pushed me away,” I say by way of explanation.

She screams at me “I DID NOT! I DID NOT! I DID NOT!”

I don’t relate well to being screamed at, especially by my mother, with whom I have had a difficult and painful relationship for most of my life. Habitually, I withdraw in stunned silence, shaken but not stirred — like one of James Bond’s martinis.

I hang up. She calls back immediately. I take the telephone off the hook. displays of kleshas (intense, negative emotions) frighten me. I need some space. Then I turn off my voice message system.

After my bridge lesson on November 23’10, I drive to her apartment complex for my thrice-weekly  swim.

I pull out my key to her apartment. Can’t open the door. I try again. Then I realize that my mother has changed the lock on her door…… I am locked out. I cannot get my swimming gear.

I spend the next few days trying to justify my behaviour, for example:

If my son told me that I had pushed him away, I wouldn’t scream at him. I would say something like “I didn’t realize that I was doing that.”

I’m not evolved enough to deal skillfully with my mother’s level of aggression.

My purpose in life is to serve people, but I’m not a martyr or a masochist.

I’ve been looking after my mother for the last three years carrying out a multitude of tasks that range from A to Z. [My sisters, by deliberate choice, live in other cities.] She shouldn’t scream at me.

It’s not that these statements are not true. But they are beside the point.

Why?

There are explanations for actions, certainly. But they do not provide justification.

Six days after the incident, on November 28’10, I come across this “Contemplation for August 26th, 2008″ by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche and felt that he was speaking directly to me:

In the throes of an intense situation, contemplate the nature of samsara [the world of confusion based on ignorance of the true nature of reality] instead of blaming yourself or someone else. Samsara is not a place but a mistaken view, a way of freezing reality into a concept.

So I contemplate.  (Instructions for how to contemplate are provided in Appendix C,  Turning the Mind Into An Ally by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche)

We wonder “what kind of person would hang up on their 88 year-old mother?” Certainly, someone who had temporarily lost compassion. I had temporarily lost sacred outlook (going beyond ego). I had become “solid,” and had forgotten The View. I have now become the child again, reacting to my mother’s rage.

This is where the 12 factors that create and maintain our karma may help us gain some insight.

In previous posts we have looked at the 12 factors in terms of past lives and how they influence our present one.

In this post, we’ll look at the factors in terms of one particular action.

1. Ignorance — In the heat of the moment, I  forget how bad this type of action of hanging up on my mother is. I forget the karmic results that flow from such a negative action.
2. Karmic creation — Because of this ignorance, I hang up the telephone.
3. Consciouness — This factor includes my motivation, how strongly I feel about what I want to do, namely, push away my mother’s aggression, which I fear.  At the doctor’s office, I feel pushed aside by my mother’s continual complaints that I should not have brought her. I feel unappreciated. Seeds of negative karma are now sown in my mind and they will come to fruition at some point in the future.
4. Name and Form— The act of avoiding my mother confirms my desire not to someone who can be intimidated and manipulated.
5. Six Senses — During the telephone call and the act of hanging up, my senses are active, specifically, the sense of  hearing.
   
6. Contact — takes place when I actually freeze the situation by hanging up the telephone.
7. Feeling — how I feel, in this case both upset by being screamed at, and pleased that I avoid more emotional outbursts by not answering any further telephone calls from my enraged mother.
   
8. Craving or Adoption — My emotional indulgence is now full-blown. Mind is fixated on my act and I carry it out to the end by refusing to answer any of my mother’s follow-up calls.
9. Grasping or involvement — I become involved in the act because I want to avoid an out-of-control mother. In other words, a self-indulgent reaction to my feelings takes place.
10. Becoming — Now that the act has been committed, karma has been created. In terms of immediate consequences, my mother changes the lock on her door the next morning.Where I was put in my room by myself as punishment as a child, I have now put myself in that room again! I felt my mother had pushed me away at the doctor’s office.  So I pushed her away by hanging up the telephone and refusing any further communication. Ironically, my mother has indeed pushed me away as symbolized by having the lock changed on her apartment door.
11. Birth — I have given birth to consequences that will affect my future in a negative way.
12. Aging and Death — End of the act of avoiding.

<source of model: Thrangu Rinpoche>

I am reminded once again that

There’s no “I” in happy. (source: Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche)

and

Every single negative thing we have ever thought or done has ultimately arisen from our grasping at a false self, and our cherishing of that false self, making it the dearest and most important element in our lives. All those negative thoughts, emotions, desires, and actions that are the cause of our negative karma are engendered by self-grasping and self-cherishing. They are the dark, powerful magnet that attracts to us, life after life, every obstacle, every misfortune, every anguish, every disaster, and so they are the root cause of all the sufferings of samsara.(source: Rigpa Glimpse of the Day for Dec 03, 2010)

Follow-up Dec 04, 2010: the quote immediately above is a kind of summary of the 12 factors I outlined above in this post.

Follow-up Dec 14’10:

Self-grasping creates self-cherishing, which in turn creates an ingrained aversion to harm and suffering. However, harm and suffering have no objective existence; what gives them their existence and their power is only our aversion to them. When you understand this, you understand then that it is our aversion that attracts to us every negativity and obstacle that can possibly happen to us, and fills our lives with nervous anxiety, expectation, and fear. (emphasis mine; source: Rigpa Glimpse of the Day, Dec 14, 2010)

Follow-up Jan 08’11: I lost my perspective and became the child again, the child whose mother pushed her away at birth.

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